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Despite myself, I washaving fun shopping. After finally getting matching green bikinis, weheaded for the minivan.During the car ride, Ashley and I sent mental images of what we could doto James later on. "What are you girls talking about back there." Nothing." We both said giggling. Mom just rolled her eyes.We swung by the hospital to pick up dad as he finished up with all thepaperwork. It was about one so we went through McDonald's making sure tograb some food for James. We pulled into the driveway of a two-story housein a suburban area. As Ashley and my parents headed into the house Islowly approached the door. After all it isn't really my house. The insidewas very neat and tidy. It was decorated with some paintings and leatherfurniture. It was obviously the best of the rooms so that company wouldn'tthink badly about them if they looked in through the door. I looked aroundand wondered what am I doing? These people are not my family; they are mypatient's. They are only taking me in. And after 7 years of college, living at home you just want to get the fuck out. I then thought after all the jobs, military and family trauma what career would allow me to use my analytical success with peolpe ( Fuck Dr.Phil) and still have a bigger purpose than just making money. Police officer!!and then detective. But did about 2 months in the Pittsburgh police academy in 2018. But left because i was 14 classes away for a degree in finance. I just wanted to make enough money to be free of having to please anyone.I write this to help better understand that its hard to have certain ideas in life but then you develop a fetish like being a cuck and everything you ever thought that you wanted just goes out the window. That every time you wanted to kiss a woman, or just dreamed about having a fun, supporting sexaully relationship just is gone. Where you have to decided to be a cuck or a man. Where you have to decided if you enjoy eating some black dudes cum off your woman or having her.
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